I have 11 weeks to go to my next professional exam. How do I feel about it?....NOTHING. Right now I don't feel a damn thing. I'm becoming numb...I woke up at 9.30 this morning and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 1 p.m. I just don't feel like doing anything. It feels so empty. I've been feeling like this for a few days now. Ever since my wife went back to Taiping. The sleep isn't good too. I've been having flashbacks of the exams and been thinking of the ifs.
How would it be like if I had gotten a second chance...not a 2nd chance 7 months later but 're-exam'. Would I have done better? MAYBE...but I didn't get any chances then. Looking back at things I just feel bad. I always thought that I'm a helpful chap. I did all I can in MSC. Did some things for the batch. Help a cat deliver kittens...but that didn't really count. I've written about this once and it has come to haunt me again. GOOD GUYS NEVER WIN.
It doesn't matter what you have done in the past. What good you did. It all comes down to what you can do for yourself. There are other people out there who couldn't care about others but they get the good life. This is one of the rare moments when I don't have a positive outlook in life. I just ran out of positives. I'll just have to wait for my enthusiasm to come back up. I don't know when that day will come. In the meantime. I'll just wonder around this world and find a purpose....life is a routine. Wake up, sahur, solat, sleep, solat, read abit, solat, buka, solat, read abit, sleep....
3 comments:
it does matter what u do in the past...what u give, u get back. U just don't know how and when that good will come back to you...stuff happens and life sucks, but life doesn't always suck...it gets pretty wonderful doesn't it sometimes?
cats can be the biggest pests in the world but they can be pretty loveable...i think there's nothing but good stuff in store for a guy who helped deliver kittens!!!!
thanx..its just been really stressful lately...for me and my wife.its depressing.in the spirit of raya, do come over to my house for raya,but im not sure where ill be at exactly on raya.still adapting to married life
mok!!!chayuk2...u have to be strong eh..for ur love ones gak...mcm aishah dulu..rase helpless jugak bile pk akan hidup tanpa khubaib 3 bulan..rase mcm tak boleh hidup dgn nak study lg...but then..kena jugak kuatkan wpun mungkin last2 encouragement tu bukan mcm mase mule2 emter medical school, tapi juast utk pass so that boleh jumpe die balik..huhu...yes..mmg seriusly kdg2 rase mcm tu...so nak wat cemana kan?take it as inspiration!!!!
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